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Breaking Your Addiction To The Status Quo

Breaking Your Addiction To The Status Quo

Today’s show is about how we are addicted to the status quo and what to do about it. Our subconscious minds are constantly trying to protect us and manipulate any situation that could cause us to grow or change. 

Yogi Bhajan says “You need a habit to relate to your mind. You need to sit with your mind and review it, polish it, and direct it.” I provide a few meditations that could help with this subconscious sabotage, but forgot to mention the Addiction meditation, probably because of my own subconscious, so please find a link to it below!

Show Notes:

Full Transcript:

I want to talk to you today about breaking our addiction to the status quo. We all have some level of addiction to something and we can make ourselves addicted to good things. So that’s things that are great for us. We can become addicted to meditation, we can become addicted to doing yoga or sports or whatever, but it’s still kind of coming from the same place as some things that we might classify as more of a negative addiction to like drugs or alcohol or other things.

But one of the ones I would even put into the negative category is our addiction to the status quo. We all have it in this sneaky sort of way where we don’t want to change. And I see it in myself more clearly than I ever did probably because of all the meditation.

But I see it particularly around times, right before massive accelerated growth is coming. So for instance, I do a lot of Kundalini yoga trainings, teacher trainings, immersions, things where I’m really going deep for several days and doing some really heavy duty energetic work. I love doing it and that’s why I sign up for it and that’s why I pack my bags and I’ll move around the globe to get these massive energy upgrades and downloads. That said, leading up to it, I noticed this alternate personality that comes out right before I leave where it’s just like a little bit edgy and not that nice and snippy and impatient and not… I might as well not do any meditation. It’s hilarious for me to watch. Not that funny for everyone around me.

It’s also not that fun for me. I mean if you’re ever in one of those moods you’re like, “Why am I acting like this? What am I doing?” Well that is an addiction. The thing that… You’re doing something because it’s just this weird little habit or this protective mechanism that’s trying to prevent you from growing. So the thing is, the quicker that we can get at recognizing it, the better.

And then this… The better that we can actually get at noticing it, we can ideally actually flip that around and make sense of it and maybe unhook some sort of pattern that it’s connected to. Because I think it’s a tip of the iceberg type thing when these things come up. Anytime you’re feeling some resistance to anything, it’s just the tip of the iceberg because I… Our subconscious mind is above everything else trying to protect you yourself, and in my case, myself.

So when it’s protecting and it’s in that protective mode, which it always is, it’s going to sniff out danger at every corner. And what happens is it’s getting this inkling like, “Oh God, this might change her. Oh God.” And it doesn’t like that because it’s built up all of these structures and mechanisms to keep me safe and they’re working. So why would it want to mess with that? It doesn’t. So you know that that… So basically it’s already made all these calculations that like, “Oh, Oh shit, this is going to… This is going to change things. I don’t know what that’s going to look like. Maybe these structures that I built no longer will be protective. And in that case, I’m not doing my job.”

So it’s a really useful thing for us to have evolutionarily speaking, of course we need to know, “Oh, if I drink that water, I get sick,” or like, “Oh, I need to make sure I don’t eat those berries off of that tree because they killed so-and-so.” These are the kind of good patterns and things that can be put into brains that are very actually protective. And you notice that if you eat something that makes you sick, you might not ever want it again. That’s your subconscious mind being like, “Nope, we’re not going to have that again.”

But the same thing goes for when you’re actually kind of poking at the thing. It like… It kind of gets angry. So what it will do is it’ll come up with 1,000,001 excuses for you to not do the thing that’s going to directly impact it. So I see this a lot in the Kundalini yoga community and just like the yoga community, wellness community, and among my friends and myself where when big things are coming up and you’ve committed to something, and… Or some sort of change, it’s like you’ll just come up with little excuses here and there as to why you’re not going to do the whole thing or why like, “I’ll just take it easy because my knee hurts,” or like… I don’t know. You might notice that every time before you’re going into some sort of expansive mode, maybe you get sick or you have a big speaking engagement and your throat hurts like, “Ah.”

You know what that is? Your subconscious mind. You’re not actually sick. It’s just your throat trying to be like, “No, I don’t want to,” because it’s scary. Because now what if you put yourself out there and then everyone doesn’t like you and now all of a sudden you’re going to be banished from the tribe? That’s literally where our subconscious mind is going. It’s so archaic in how it’s thinking about our safety. It’s thinking in those very basic needs level.

So one of the other things I know I was addicted to at one point in and plenty people still are, I live in a commuter town, so I’m just outside of New York City and I see it every single day. It’s people running to the train. We all know exactly how much time it takes to make our train every day. We know it’s not a subway. So we know what time we need to leave our house in order to be on the platform on time for the train to show up. And we know how much time to be there… To leave ourselves if we want to just mosey there and listen to a podcast, like this one, or we know how much time it takes for us to run to the train. So for instance, from my house it’s eight minutes I can get there with a nice pace, but like six minutes it gets interesting and why not? And it’s not that… I’m not addicted to being late. I’m addicted to that feeling of the adrenaline of, “Ooh, there’s something happening here,” and like, “Oh my goodness,” and other people are too.

So if you ever find yourself in that weird pattern of like, “Oh my God, I can’t find my keys. Where did I leave my keys? I put everything out in the morning. I got up early, I got up a half hour earlier, and here I am still leaving three minutes late and I have to run to the train.” When you find yourself in that position, it’s just your subconscious mind is addicted to the adrenaline of the situation. So it’s not necessarily a safety issue. It’s actually the hit of the adrenaline in that case. But I see that a lot and my mother is definitely addicted to it. Shout out mom. Plenty of interesting mornings when I was a child.

So anyway, the thing that’s interesting about our brains is that they’re really like a computer and our subconscious mind is… It’s just coding. It’s just a bunch of ones and zeros. It’s like, “Yes, no, yes, no,” and we can get into that and actually work on removing some of the lines of code. Putting new ones in through things like hypnosis, and Kundalini yoga helps, and a bunch of other techniques that some people use.

RTT is a specific form of hypnotherapy that I’m a really big fan of. It’s called rapid transformational therapy by Marissa Peer. And there is a lot of people who offer it around the world, so you can find practitioners online for that. I’ll put it in the show notes, but one of the things that’s interesting about our brain is that every single second we’re downloading a lot of thoughts. Yogi Bhajan says that we download a thousand thoughts per second. So every blink of our eye, we download a thousand thoughts and we only have in that moment the chance to pick one of them and then the rest of them kind of go into our subconscious mind, which just becomes this big wasteland of all of all of these things that we’re downloading into our mind space.

What’s really interesting is that Dr. Joe Dispenza actually also kind of corroborates that. Is that the right word? Corroborate. He says that the healthy human brain can process 400 billion bits of information per second. So maybe 400 billion bits is equal to a thousand thoughts. It’s very possible. And he says that we’re only conscious of about 2000 of those 400 billion bits of information. So we’re not the… the conclusion he comes to is that most of the information of our reality is being processed by our unconscious mind.

So what I’m trying to get at is our unconscious mind is so sophisticated that it has already made all of the calculations completely unknown to us that, “Okay, if I move to the keys over here, then she’s going to have to look for them in the morning, and then I’m going to get that nice adrenaline boost that I really, really love and I crave,” and… Or, “Oh, she’s going to do a speaking event. Let’s make sure she’s nice and sick leading up to it. Let’s make sure she eats the food that’s not going to help her feel good for it, or let’s make sure some situation happens where she can’t make it to the event on time or whatever.” And these things are calculated so far in advance that by the time that the issue becomes aware to you, you’re like, “Oh my God, I can’t speak,” or, “I can’t go to the thing,” or, “I have to cancel. There’s no other option.” And that’s your subconscious mind doing its job.

So the problem is that we basically become addicted to this status quo mentality because we have a lot of things that doesn’t… That don’t want us to change. The primary thing being our mind. So even if we have this kind of energy of I want to change, I know I can do better. I want to be bigger, I want to think bigger. I don’t want to be so small. We’re really up against ourselves here.

So this is why we meditate because we have to come up against ourselves. We have to see what we’re working with. So one of the things that I’ve noticed is over the last several years, I’ve definitely gotten better at noticing, and sometimes rolling my eyes at myself when I am running to the train like, “Wow, really? I needed that adrenaline today? Thank you.” I can see it happening in real time or it’s almost like I can count down the… I can see the hours go by where it’s like, “Oh, I’m coming up on another one of those immersion things and three, two, one, stress. There it is. Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm (affirmative).” And then it’s like, cue the feeling of overwhelm, which is a total non-reality.

Overwhelm isn’t really actually a thing. You’re just creating it because you want to have the feeling of stress just like you’re creating a reason for being late for the train or work or whatever.

So there’s a couple of things here I want to share. One of the things that Yogi Bhajan says is he says, “Excellence, awareness, and caliber come to you when you make your mind play the game. You and your soul want. When you play the game, your mind makes you play. It ruins you and creates your pain.”

Pretty well said. So when we’re playing the game that you, like capital U… Capital Y, you and your soul want, that’s when you can obtain those levels of excellence, and awareness, and caliber. The things that we’re talking about here, about crowning ourselves, but when we dip into the games that our mind plays that we’re not necessarily even aware of, it ruins us and we don’t want that because it creates this… It actually creates pain longterm because it’s, it’s completely unsatisfying. It’s… While we’re safe, it’s… I mean, really boring because we’re not actually doing anything.

The other thing that he says here, I like this. He says, “When you fail to meditate, the combined strength of your subconscious and your thoughts catches you. This combination, when the subconscious links with the play of the mind is the origin of mental intrigues and most of your self defeating patterns. You need a habit to relate to your mind. You need to sit with your mind and review it, polish it, and direct it.”

So he’s making a pretty good case for meditation here. You know, he’s saying that when the combined strength of our subconscious partners up with our thoughts, so meaning our subconscious becomes actually known to us and it starts feeding us these thoughts like a computer. It’s like, “Oh, we’re just going to… Oh, okay, it’s time for this program. Let’s just start spitting those thoughts out now.” And then all of a sudden you’re thinking thoughts about like, “Oh maybe I shouldn’t do that. Oh, people aren’t going to like me now. Oh, do I really need to do that? I’m pretty comfortable as I am. Who wants to change?”

Those thoughts are just being fed to you by your subconscious because your subconscious has again already made the calculations of what to do to make you not do the things that are going to make you change. So when that combination happens, it’s the origin of all of our mental intrigues and our self defeating patterns. And you know, none of us are self-defeating. I mean who… We don’t… No one here does that. I’m just kidding. Of course, we all do it in our own subtle ways, many of which are small, like the examples I just gave about being late to work. But then they play out in much bigger ways.

So what he says is we need a habit to relate to our mind and that’s where the meditation part comes in because we sit with our mind, we review it, we polish it, and then we direct it. So first you have to be able to see what’s going on. You’re reviewing it and you’re looking at it and you’re trying to be objective about it and be like, “Huh, okay. I’m seeing some patterns here. I see. Oh, every time I do this, this happens. Or every time I think about booking a plane ticket, I seem to get nauseous and remember that I can’t travel because my dog and I need to make sure… Oh man, what about my dog?” And you become neurotic about something like you start seeing all those patterns.

Then he says polish it. So now that you see those patterns, now you have to do something about it. So you’re like, “Okay, all right. Enough of that.” How can you take the edge off of off of some of those patterns? So like for me, one of the patterns is create situations of overwhelm immediately before big immersions so that I can’t just drop into the immersion, I have to feel some sense of overwhelm and stress because God forbid I should just go into it and be clear minded and get… Just enjoy it, which I always ended up doing anyway.

And then finally he says you have to direct it. So that’s, I think a lot harder and much more sophisticated when you actually figure out how you see the pattern. That is step one. And that matters because at least if you can see the pattern, you know that you can’t stand yourself in that moment because you’re literally just playing out some weird pattern that doesn’t serve you. That’s helpful. At least you have that information.

Directing it in a new direction though is you know expert level, but we’re all capable of it. So I mean through meditation, through Sat Nam, which is our daily practice. If you do it in the morning, it’s great because you can kind of catch these things early on. But this morning though, I think I went back to sleep for like, it was a long post Sat Nam nap. So I almost feel like I need a second Sat Nam to snap myself back into it. I don’t know if anyone else in the Kundalini scene resonates with me here, but I want to read one more thing to you before my recorder dies. I like this. This is a Yogi Bhajan’s dialogue with his mind. He says, “This is how my mind and I speak to each other.” He says to his mind, “You are timeless. You are spaceless. You are nothing less. You are just my servant. Tell me how you can serve me. Intuitively show me through vision. If not, shut up. I don’t need you. I can do it myself.”

And the mind says, “No, no, no. I am your mind. I am in you. God gave me to you to serve you. I can tell you pros and cons, positive, negative, neutral. I am very good. I am the source of intuition. I am the source of thought. I am the source of ecstasy. I’m the source of everything.”

And he says, “I just tell him, I found my source. You are part of me and you have gone berserk. Idiot. So don’t talk to me with this garbage. Let me do devotion. I don’t want anything from you. My mind goes somewhere else. Serve someone else. I have seen it all and now is my time and my privilege to utter Waheguru.”

The mind says, “No, no, no. I’m your relative. I love you.”

And he says, “Yes, everybody is my relative. You won’t hurt me. You can not see… If you can not see God in all, you cannot see God at all. Let us relay the same level. Let me say Waheguru and let you go… Let you say Waheguru let us have a relationship at the same frequency. Let us have the same clarity. Let us have the same reality because we are the same guru the same God… We have the same guru, the same God.”

So I love that. And you know, if you’re not talking to yourself, you should try it sometime. And so a couple of tips for dealing with situations where you’re addicted to the status quo. Couple mantras help. There’s one Gobinday Mukanday really helps clearing the subconscious. Sudarshana Chakra Kriya clears the subconscious. Yogi Bhajan says it will give you a new start. It cuts through all the barriers of the neurotic and psychotic inside nature. So you know, it’s pretty powerful. I’ll link to that in the show notes. Kirtan Kirya is also great too, which uses the sounds Sa Ta Na Ma and it helps clear out our subconscious mind.

Other techniques that I have found outside of Kundalini yoga that help are good friends who notice your patterns and call you out on them. Other than that you can use hypnosis, RTT rapid transformational therapy, which I mentioned earlier. Those are amazing sessions are only like 90 minutes, but you go deep and it’s a hypnosis and you kind of go back to the root of the problem, uproot it, and then plant some new code in where you removed the old code. So if you’re really having an issue, you can do around that.

An example of what I did at around once was mornings. Like I was having a lot of trouble just like waking up in the morning where I would just… I’d set alarms and I just didn’t want to get up. It wasn’t happening. And when I went back in to kind of my subconscious memory bank, it had a lot to do with having to get up really early as a child and being rushed out the door. And the chaos of the morning being very stressful. So of course I wouldn’t want to get up. It’s not fun, it’s not enjoyable. And it was also kind of breaking my connection to the creative, to the divine in a very severe way as a child. So I didn’t enjoy the mornings.

And that then of course translates to an adult, even though we’re… If you’re listening, you’re probably in an adult body by now, but maybe you’re a child, but we’re all just children still playing out our kind of early stuff. And then when you’re actually in the thing, some humor helps, self-awareness, and then people who also forgive you for acting like a jerk is good if you’re having one of those a weird programs running out. And then the other thing is to just be around people who are constantly like breaking it.

So I surround myself with a lot of people who put themselves out there, who I’m inspired by, who are like, “You know what? I see the problem, I don’t care,” or, “I see the… and it’s not an actual problem. The subconscious sees the problem and they’re like whatever.” So people who I know who do things, who are scared, but they do them anyway, they’re really, really healthy people to be around. So surround yourself with more people like that and you’ll become more like that.

So those are a couple of my tips. If you have any that work for you, please let me know. I am all ears and hopefully I’m not forgetting any. I mean I’m hoping my subconscious mind isn’t sabotaging this episode by not telling you something that would really, really help. But you know, trying to switch things up all the time is a good, good tactic always because it breaks some of those really well worn neural patterns and pathways in our brain.

So the gong also helps cause it actually clears the subconscious. So it’s like clearing the trash folder on your computer. You know how satisfying that is and that sound that it makes it? Like that’s what we all need today. So I’ll end on that prayer that we can all have a clearing the trash moment and get over the hump and just do the thing. Or just go into the trainings or just go into the sphere or the place or get to the train on time and inspire others to do the same.

Let me know if you have any questions and if you have any other ways that work for you. And I’ll talk to you soon. Sat Nam.

Shakti Sita