Everything is PR – Take Ownership of Your Story
I’m sharing the biggest thing I worked on with all my PR clients: branding yourself as what you want to be. The press and the people in your life will only say and believe things about you that you say and believe about yourself. Participation is mandatory because even if you don’t consciously work your projection, the people around you are receiving it and giving it right back to you. Take ownership of your story!
- “If you stop doing Sadhana, it will not make you to progress on the spiritual path. And for a while you can get along, but later on your past will catch up and eat you up. Therefore, I request you to re-shape and reformulate yourself and start regrinding yourself so that you may remain polished and shining and beautiful.” Yogi Bhajan 1/25/79
- The Pygmalion Effect
- Tony Robbins Priming
- Shakti Sita’s Instagram
- The Pallas Instagram
Today I want to talk about how crowning yourself is really also the same thing as saying brand yourself or create yourself. This is something that I worked on with every single PR client I ever had. In Our initial meetings we would sit down and I would talk to them about their brand and I would just listen to the way that they describe their company. It’s really fascinating to listen to people talk about something that they’re creating because they’ll kind of weave in and out. They’ll go talk big vision and then they’ll get small about it and they’ll kind of be like, “Well, that we’re worried about this competitor or we’re worried about how we’ll fit into the field here or we’re still in production, so we’re not really sure.” But then they’ll go back to their big vision and then they’ll kind of again weave in and out of it.
You may notice this with people when they talk about anything that they’re passionate about, when they come up to you and they’re like, “I’m thinking about this really big idea and blah, blah, blah.” And then they’re like, “But I don’t have the money for it right now. I’m still working at this job and I don’t have the time for it.” And then the excuses come in. We’re dealing with these two different things. We’re dealing with the big vision and what’s possible and then on the other hand, we’re dealing with all of these limiting beliefs and voices really, that are just coming into the scene that are hugely unhelpful.
When it comes to PR and working with these clients, after I’m done listening to them, I would say, “Okay, great. It sounds like you want to be positioned as the pioneer in this field or the best of these type of products or…” Underline it with like something really big like pioneer in such and such space. The first to bring X, Y, Z to market, changing the game through la, la, la. The company would agree but then as I start drafting up all of these positioning and branding points, it kind of gets small again. And they’re like, “Well, are we sure we can say that about ourselves? Are we really the best? Are we really the this? Are we really the that?” And I’m like, “Well, yeah, and if you don’t say those things, no one is going to call you those things.”
This is the bottom line here is that when we, especially companies and this also now applies to us as individuals, but if you don’t say it about yourself, no one else is going to say it. This is especially true for media, for press. A lot of kinds of clients that I have worked with over the years are looking for someone else to tell them how great they are. That’s great, we all want that kind of reassurance and pat on the back. But when it comes to branding and just anything that you’re projecting out, you have to be the one holding the vibration of the thing that you want other people to call you.
You can be the best on the market and maybe one day NBC news will pick up on the fact that you’re the best in the market, but it’s going to take a while. Instead, what you have to do is you have to come out, you have to say, this is the best thing since slice bread and we’re the pioneer in this field and X, Y, Z, these are the reasons. And then you have to go and you have to pitch the producers and pitch the reporters and tell them that you are the best. Or hire someone like me in a previous life to tell them that you are the best, the greatest thing ever.
It can be very uncomfortable process for companies and for individuals to go through because again, we always kind of look outside of ourselves for that validation and we’re looking around the room like, Hey, can someone else tell me how great I am please or can someone else tell me that now I can be the best and now I can step into my power and be the pioneer in this field. I would say it’s really few and far between. There are people who naturally do this but it’s actually I think a more unnatural thing for many of us to do. Partially because we’re taught to play small so that people like us and that whole thing.
And then as women that’s a whole other ballpark because as females we’re supposed to not want to put ourselves out there in a bigger way, make sure that we’re playing… We don’t want to piss anyone off. I think those days are sliding away but, at least my generation and another few. I still see the remnants of that for sure. It’s stepping into your power and it’s putting yourself out there so that you’re controlling your own projection so then the press or media is taking note of that.
Now if we take that example of the press and media and these businesses and clients and now we extrapolate that down to the individual level and what we want to do in our life on a daily basis, maybe it’s get a better job or find a better relationship or just have a better friend circle or maybe we want to create a business. All of these things, no one is going to just come up to us one day, I mean, sometimes it happens, but for the most part, no one is going to come up, tap us on the shoulder and be like, “Hey, you’re really, really awesome and I think that you should start your own business and do this and that. Here is all the things that you need.”
Sometimes certain things are serendipitous and will kind of point you in these directions but no one is going to do that unless your putting the vibration of it out there first. What I want to encourage you today is to think about the ways that you’re putting your projection out there. Meaning what are other people thinking of you? Everything is PR whether we like it or not. On an individual level, you have to PR yourself to some degree. That means decide on a very, very deep level what is it that you actually want. Then once you actually get there, and it could take a really long time to get there, So don’t rush that part of it. But once you’re there, figure out the archetypes that are involved in creating that exact thing that you want. Then put that energy out there.
The good news is today we have a million ways to do that through every social media app on the planet and podcasts and other things. If you want to be a photographer and you want to be a certain type of photographer, maybe you’re an empowering female photographer and you’re going to do a specialty shoots in a certain performative space, well what would you need to do in order to have those things? It doesn’t just mean that you need to go buy a camera, that is one of the steps, but you also have to take the pictures and so much more goes into that part and you getting the clients that you’re looking for and that’s all the PR.
PR is just setting up your projection and believing in it. Because I can, for instance, for me, I could say I want to be president. And then people will be like, “Okay, cool.” No one would believe me because I don’t believe me and therefore no one else is going to believe me. I have to get to the belief first on myself on that very deep level that it’s something that I A, really want to do and then B, how can I really truly embody the thing?
Now being yoga teacher, I wanted to be a yoga teacher on a very deep level many years ago. I’ve embodied that over the last several years. Now I’m at a point where I can project that out. But that said, even the type of yoga teacher I am is a certain frequency. I am projecting out the type of clients that I want, I am reaching them through the types of pictures that I post, the types of content that I produce, the way I even just carry myself on a day to day. This is why you can’t completely just manufacturer, you can’t just say, “I’m going to become a dog.” I mean, maybe you can but it has to be within your a realm of possibility.
You can be anything you want but it’s something within reason. It’s kind of like which level of your own personal possibility do you want to reach. That’s what you have to get real with yourself about and then you have to step into it and start feeling comfortable calling yourselves the things that you want to actually be. I didn’t call myself a yoga teacher for a really long time cause I wasn’t teaching and so to call myself a yoga teacher felt weird because I wasn’t actually doing the thing. Now at some point, in order to even land my first teaching opportunities, I had to call myself a yoga teacher.
There’s these little micro steps that you have to take where you can brand yourself like I’m 10 steps ahead or a couple steps ahead where you’re like, “I want to be a an author.” Well you can start calling yourself an author as you’re working on the book even if you don’t have anything published. There’s no rules to this. If you want to be a bestselling author though, it’s kind of hard just to call yourself a bestselling author before you’re actually a bestselling author. But you can start embodying the frequency of what a bestselling author is. In order for you to do that, you have to feel into that expansiveness and what that might taste like, feel like, be like and all of the aspects of that, that then when you project it out, there’s a boomerang effect back on you when you say these things.
If you say you’re a bestselling author, guess what? You’re going to be answering more DM’s at some point. Are you ready for that? If you say that you’re a yoga teacher, well guess what? You’re going to be listening to people’s problems. Are you ready for that? All of these things have this kind of boomerang effect. Sometimes I think what happens is, with the clients that I worked with, they would get freaked out because they’d be like, “All right, well, we’re the pioneer in this space and we do have the best product in this category. But if we say that we’re going to really have to up our manufacturing and then we’re also going to need more capital and then we’re all going to need more investors, and then we’re all… There’s a snowball effect to calling yourself these things. I think that that’s actually one of hurdles or one of the reasons why we innately back at moving ourselves to the next level through these words.
Now, a great example of this is Donald Trump. I mean, he walks around and he just says, “I’m the greatest. I’m the best. I hire the best people. My kids are the best people. I make the best deals.” He’s just walking around saying that he’s the best all the time. In the way that he’s projecting himself, even though part of it is ridiculous, the fact is he’s holding the frequency of success. He says it, he believes it. Because he believes it, the energy just moves right in that direction. If you say the thing, if you say, “I have the best podcasting equipment on the market.” And you say it like that, no one’s going to believe you. You have to say things and actually believe it.
Now to get to the point where you actually believe what you’re saying and to believe these things about you is the secret sauce really. Because we can all agree if I say that I have the best product in this category or I am a bestselling author, great, I’m happy to say those things but I don’t feel it internally. To get there internally is a daily process. It’s a daily process of embodying it and it’s a daily process of getting there. This is where Sadhana comes in, which is our daily spiritual practice. You can call it Sadhna, you can do Kundalini yoga or you can just have affirmations. You can have some sort of practice where when you get up in the morning, you have this little window, Abraham-Hicks always talks about this, you have this little window when you wake up where you’ve stopped the momentum of all your self-doubt of all your self-hatred of all your why can’t have all of the things.
I can in that little sliver, just move in the positive direction and keep going in that direction as long as you can, you can make serious progress. The thing that you can work on is, the intention is that when you wake up in the morning, you’re not going to remember that you’re upset. You’re not going to remember that you’re not a bestselling author yet. That’s not the thing you want to do, instead you want to wake up and believe you are the thing that you want to be or you want to believe that you can handle these new parameters that come with calling yourself the pioneer or the best or the greatest or someone who’s making an impact in a certain way, in a certain space.
Tony Robbins also talks about this all the time, he calls it priming. He has a morning routine and almost all successful people have some sort of morning routine that helps them get into a certain mind, space and frequency where they are then comfortable stepping into these next steps and the next step and the next step of their own greatness. And then because they are stepping into their greatness, the situations and people and press and everyone around them is responding to that and therefore they’re calling them great. No one was calling Tony Robbins great before he believed he was great and he was probably telling himself already that he was great, so there is the boomerang there.
Tony Yogi Bahjan says… Here’s one of the things he says about Sadhana. He says, “If you stopped doing Sadhna it will not make you to progress on the spiritual path. For a while you can get along but later on your past we’ll catch up and eat you up. Therefore I request you…” Let me try this again. “Therefore, I request you to reshape and reformulate yourself and start re-grinding yourself so that you may remain polished and shining and beautiful.” I think this is kind of capturing a lot of what I’m saying here because if you aren’t catching yourself on a daily basis and deliberately moving your energy into the expanded mode that you’re looking for, what you’re trying to crown yourself as or in a practical term, brand yourself as, sooner or later your past will catch up to you. Meaning your past vibrations, your past emotions, all the anger that you have from childhood, all of the past life, who knows what, this all catches up to you and it eats you.
Meaning it keeps you small. It’s not fulfilling. Everything I’m talking about, it’s like, okay great, maybe if I had more time in the morning I could do those things. For some of us it’s a do or die situation because it literally eats you. On a soul level it can become so crushing and and painful. What’s the point really of having any sort of meaningful existence. To do this in a deliberate way, meaning through some sort of Sadhna routine or intentionality that you’re getting up and you’re shaping who you are and who you want to be moment to moment, day by day so that you may remain polished and shining and beautiful. And then when you do all those things, you get the recognition from other people.
Now if you don’t do those things, you become the projections of everyone else around you, on to you. Because you’re just like this mixed bag of something, everyone else just starts projecting everything onto and you start becoming the things that they’re projecting onto you. Have you ever seen this or felt it? Usually you feel it if you’re away from your family for a while or if you don’t see them for many years or something and then they see you and they’re treating you like a 12 year old and you’re like, “I’m 30.” That’s a projection. There’s a mismatch of them thinking that you’re one person and you’re actually another person.
Well, it happens in a very clear manner. They call it the Pygmalion effect. Which is a Greek mythology, it’s based on the Greek mythology where Pygmalion fell in love with one of his sculptures and then it came to life. It was his attention on it that brought it to life. It’s a phenomenon where by other’s expectations of a target person, they affect that person’s performance. Individuals tend to rise to the level of other people’s expectations of them. They’ve done studies on this where they show teachers in a classroom with children and the expectations that the teachers have of those children and then those children performing to either lower levels or higher levels based on the teacher’s expectations. Well, this is what’s happening to us on a daily basis, if we’re kind of this mixed bag of projection then people think we’re a mixed bag and we’re not… No one is going to be like, “Hey, you’re number one. You’re a pioneer, you’re doing things, you matter. You’re whatever.”
They’re just going to be reading your temperature and be like, “She slept till noon.” And there’s nothing wrong with that by the way. “Slept till noon, not really doing much, super depressed and so I’m going to treat her like that.” Therefore it makes it harder for you to get out of that depressed space and to start doing the things that you deep down in your soul want to do, want to create, want to be and have every single right to be. You have to find that peace within you that that says, F other people’s ideas of me and opinions of me, they don’t matter. This is also your own, because a lot of times what will happen is you’ll finally get yourself in a space where you’re like, here I am, I can feel it. I’m a bestselling author and I run a retreat center in Costa Rica and I… Whatever your thing is that you want.
You can feel it, you can taste it. It’s happening, it’s in motion, it’s like a train, it’s left the station and nothing can stop it. But then you remember that you’re actually working a dead end job that you don’t like and that you have to respond to people about things that you don’t actually care about and you’re spending over 50% of your time doing things you’re not passionate about. Now you start remembering versions of you from the past, the immediate past, the farther past and then you run into your parents and now you’re really running version 1.0. meanwhile, you’re up to 10.2.
This is the thing that you have to keep catching yourself on moment to moment, day by day is can you hold your own trance or frequency or version of yourself and not let other people inflict their projections of you on to you, so that you start acting out those older versions of you. I mean it’s possible and people do it all the time. Most successful people, who are doing something in a big way, are doing this actively in their frequency daily.
You have to be it now, passes irrelevant. I’m reading my notes here. I don’t want to forget anything because I’m really passionate about this. Main thing is here, I’m not saying to lie. Don’t lie, don’t make up a lie about who you are. But also it’s a fine line. Is it a lie to say that your an author, if you’re starting to work on your book? I don’t think so. Is it a lie to say that you are an, I don’t know, a producer if you’re starting to work on your first film? No, of course not. But you should start.
The thing is you just have to get real with yourself and feel into how big you’re actually ready to play. Because this stuff works so deeply that if you start stepping into it and you’re not ready for it, that’s when you can really knee-jerky, just revert back to whatever past version of yourself or projection of yourself you’ve been carrying. Those are the main things I want to say to you today about that. I’m curious if you’ve had any experiences of this in your own life, particularly around other people’s projections and what they’ve done to you or how it’s felt having other people think a certain thing of you and then what that’s actually done to your behavior or your performance.
And then vice versa when you’re holding in a very big, meaningful, powerful way, the version of yourself that you are and want to be and have every single right to be, how does it feel when you’re holding that line and not letting anyone affect it? And seeing other people respond to it in that bigger way, it’s exciting. I’m excited to see what you guys do with this information. I hope that you can apply it to your day to day life. And then also if you’re looking for press, keep it in mind, press will only report what you tell them. So make sure that you’re giving people a good story. Give people a good story so that they have something good to report on. No one makes things up.
You have so many tools to control your own narrative and then the narrative that other people tell about you because of [inaudible 00:00:27:14]. I will talk to you guys soon. Crown yourself, brand yourself. You can do it. I’ll be talking a lot more about this in a more minute way. All right. Love you guys.