Becoming Fearlessly Creative
One of the major keys to creativity is remembering that no one actually cares – because they are super caught up in their own lives. So stop using what they “might” think as an excuse to not create. Just go do your thing. And if they are thinking about you – great! Use that energy however it comes. The paradox is: if you WANT people to care – meaning you want to leave a legacy and do something majorly creative or great with your life – you have to NOT care what other people think and instead care more about actually impacting people and your community.
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Sat nam. I’m Shakti Sita. I’m feeling very called today to talk about the topic of no one actually cares. And I know that sounds like a really weird topic but the point of this is to give you the freedom to do the things that you are dying to do. Like there’s something inside of you right now that you are procrastinating doing, or looking for 60 reasons to not do it, or looking for permission to do it, and the point of no one cares is supposed to give you that freedom.
I remember when I was, I think I was in high school, my mom was, she worked at a different high school for 33 years, and she was a prom chaperone one year, and you know like, thank God I didn’t go to that school. And she like got all dressed up and she looked really, really nice, you know but like it’s not her prom, and she was like, “How do I look? Like I just want to make sure like that I look okay.” I’m like, “Ma, no one’s gonna be looking at you. Literally no one cares what you look like because everyone’s going to be way too obsessed with how they look.” And my mom was like, “Oh my God, you’re absolutely right”, and she says it every once in a while, like when she asks me how she looks, she’ll even like reference that and be like, “Oh no, no. I know. No one even cares. No one’s even gonna be looking at me”, but it’s true. And this applies to almost everything.
There’s a peanut gallery out there. There’s a punditry of the universe, of the internet, that does take interest and pleasure in commenting on how other people are living their lives. Who cares? They’re not coming for you and so, you know, I just bring this up because if I was worried about what people think I would not have opened a kundalini yoga and meditation studio. It just like, it would not have been able to have happened, and the point of it is though that it’s really, really freeing when you put yourself in that perspective of, you know, is anyone even paying attention outside of their own bubble? Like just look at your own life right now and your own world that you are spinning. Can you see more than a couple feet in front of you, and the people that you’ve interacted with today, have you actually had a deep interaction with them? Have you actually seen outside of your bubble? And it’s not to criticize you, it’s just saying, “look at how you’re living your life and how you experience what other people are doing”, and then just know that that’s how other people handle their lives, too.
You have to be the protagonist of your own life. If you’re not the star of your story then what are you doing? And that’s not to say that you can’t be a really kick ass supporting actor in someone else’s scene, but in your own way you still have to have your own path. And part of the archetypes of our mind and the way that our mind works is that we have to choose our character. This is a choose as you go, pick your own ending type of situation. It’s not to say that, there’s definitely some sort of a destiny point or a highest manifestation of your life point, but we still have some choice in this, and you definitely see it play out in certain people’s lives where they just try on a lot of different identities, or they try on a lot of different jobs, or they try on a lot of different parts, and you yourself go through many transformations over your life.
Just the transition from a single person to married, to a mother, is major identity transformations, and each time you go through those transformations, you’re actually wearing a different archetype and you’re whole mind/body spirit system is adhering to that archetype, and we operate on stories. It’s like the coding program within our DNA and ourself, so we have to be conscious of what the story is that we’re telling ourselves about ourselves, and even more so, the story we’re telling ourselves about ourselves from other people’s points of view.
So if you go around worried about, “Well I think that this person doesn’t like me”, or “I think that this person thinks poorly of me”, or “I think this person’s, you know”, like we’re, actually if you’re listening to this you probably have some psychic stuff going on, but you’re not though. You don’t actually know what’s going through that person’s head, and it’s very, very, very, very more than likely possible that they don’t even know about the thing that you’re obsessing about.
We get on these neurotic loops, “they think this about me” or that, or whatever and you’re like, have you actually talked to the person? Do they know that you you think that they think this about you? And when you get into it though, it’s really just this thought form of this projection of yourself back at yourself, so really what you think other people think of you is really just what you think of you, which gets weird.
When I got my dog, Winnie, who is the cutest thing of all time. I may have mentioned this before but when I first got her I was in really tough place. I was coming off of anxiety medication. I was very, very, very, very sick. I was sleeping 14 hours a day, it was hard. I really, genuinely wasn’t sure how I was going to make it through this time of my life. So I got a puppy because I figured, what else is going to give my life a fighting chance other than a really cute dog who I also have to walk because she has to go to the bathroom, and even if I can’t bring myself to take care of myself, I can take care of this animal. And she did. She was amazing, but those first few weeks were like, really challenging for me because I was, A. very sick, and B. pretending not to be, meaning I was still working with all of my clients, all my PR clients.
I didn’t tell anyone that I was sick. I pretended I wasn’t, and I tried as hard as I could to have a, an experience, or a projected persona of a healthy person, which is a split personality because I was not a healthy person, and that’s a really tough thing to carry, so I felt a deep, internal guilt about being sick because I was protecting a vitalness in my life that I just didn’t have, and I felt fraudulent really while I was going through this time. It was very hard. And some days I would wake up and it would be like 11am, and I meant to get up at 8:00, and I need to be in the city by noon, and like there was so many things going on and it was so hard. I just kept looking at the dog and I was like, “She’s judging me so hard. Ugh” I was so annoyed and I was like “What? What do you want?”
And then I’d be like, “Okay. I’m just going to take a nap”, and I’d tell her. I’d justify it her. I’m like, “So it’s just going to be a short nap. I’m going to get right back to work.” And then I’d catch her walking by while I’m working. I’m like, “What? I’m working. I’m not on Instagram. I’m working. This is my job. My job is Instagram, actually.” And I was having this whole conflict with my dog. So, my husband would be like, “So how are things going with Winnie?” I was like, “It’s really great. She’s so cute. She’s like the sweetest thing of all time, but she’s really, really, really, really judgmental.” And Dan’s like, “Okayyyy”, and he was smart enough at the time to not point out that that’s my own projection because I think when you are in a deep projection, the last thing that you want is someone to tell you that you’re in a deep projection, and it’s interesting though because months later, after I did have some healing moments, and I came out the other side just a little like the wave had crested, and I was just like, it’s just so much more pleasant to be around this dog. I just feel like she’s really kind to me now, and she’s just really adapted to me and I just don’t feel that judgi-ness anymore.
And as I was saying it, I was like, “Oh my God. It’s just because I’m being nicer to myself, isn’t it?, and my husband was like, “Yeah, I really didn’t want to tell you that, but yes, that’s exactly what’s going on”. And this story is so, you can put this across any area of your life. Anyone that you’re currently having a fake argument in your head with, they don’t even know that you’re arguing with them. You’re arguing with yourself, but now extrapolate that out to the actual creative process of things. If you are not doing something because you’re worried about what someone else thinks, you are just blocking yourself, period. They don’t actually think anything, and if they do, great they’re thinking about you. Most people are so caught up in their own stuff, that they’re not coming from any type of genuine place, of actual interest in the other person.
Now that’s not to say that, there aren’t people, amazing teachers, and mentors, and maybe certain mentors, like family members in your life, who do genuinely hold a higher frequency version of yourself and will actually have something to say about what you’re doing because they genuinely want that highest outcome in you. But, for the peanut gallery who genuinely doesn’t want you to succeed, because there are a couple people out there who may not want you to succeed, that’s just, that is a truth, and that’s okay. Who cares? It’s fine, anyone who’s doing something with their life will attract a couple of people who aren’t fans, and that’s fine.
The thing that you have to be okay with is if it’s a family member, are you going to be alright? Is it Gary Vee talks about what the parent pressure can do to the psyche of the creative children, and do you still feel like there is still someone in your brain, like mom’s voice in your brain telling you that you can’t be something, or that you need to follow something or do something a certain way. That is just an internal loop, it’s not actually her, and families really do in most cases just want you to be happy. So what’s going to make you happy is if you can just dislodge that negative loop in your head of your mother’s recorded voice, or father’s, or whoever.
The best type of creativity, and the highest expression of your creativity can only really come when you’re being courageous, and when you really don’t give a shit. Man, you know I’m going to get another explicit on this podcast. Dan’s like, “You know you have an E next to every episode?” I’m like, “Do I, really?” I didn’t even know I cursed in each one. I really tried not to, but here I am. You know, it has to come where you’re just not scared. You can’t come from a place of fear of, “What’s this person gonna think?” and “Are they gonna like me?”, and blah, blah, blah. You have to create, and a lot of things you create might not work, and they might be great, and they might not be the highest manifestation or destiny of your existence, but at least you’re creating, and you have to just constantly create.
From my experience, from my viewpoint, I think you just create, and create, and create, and it’s not necessarily to say, “See you at 6”, but you’re building a creative muscle. Everything is just the muscle, and so the more that you’re creating, the better you get at creating, and you trust your impulses, and you trust your, by impulses I mean those good ones. The ones where you’re like, “There’s something here. There’s energy here. There’s something to be made here. There’s something moving me here.” That is, that’s the kind of stuff. Just go.
If you have, if you’re listening to this and you’re like, “You know, I’ve really wanted to start a podcast”, start a podcast. What are you waiting for? The equipment’s a couple hundred bucks. You don’t even need the equipment. You can record onto your phone. Use Libsyn, or Anchor, or something and get your voice on the internet today. Stop worrying what everyone is going to think. It doesn’t have to be perfect. But you have something important to share, and the kind of projection of needing to please someone else around you, or worrying that like, one I hear a lot is, “It’s a crowded space. It’s tough to be a coach or someone in the wellness scene because there’s so many people doing it already.”
Do you think those people doing it already actually care that you’re entering the scene? I mean, they might. There might be someone insecure at the top who’s annoyed that there’s another player involved, but who cares? That’s not your problem. It’s not. It’s not your problem. Your job is to create and do things, especially if you’re a woman.
The other thing is on the way to the studio, on the way to The Pallas, it’s nice little drive. I like it. It’s only like, it’s like 15 minutes away from my house and I really enjoy the drive. I like it at night actually. I’ve been going over there for Sadhana and it’s so nice driving when it’s like 3:30 in the morning. There’s no one on the road and it’s really, really peaceful. But actually during the day it’s more interesting to drive because I drive right past this pretty large cemetery, and I have to say it’s this really, really great reminder that no one cares. No one cares. You’re gonna die and no one’s gonna care. I’m not saying no one’s gonna come to your funeral and people aren’t going to remember you for something, and you’re gonna have a legacy. There’s definite things that you can, there’s a way of living your life that leaves an impact where people do care. But that’s only done if you don’t care. Does that make sense?
So you have to not care enough that you care more about the creative impact and your legacy and create, create, create, more than what is Susan gonna think of me if I post this post, and what if this ruins my image? That’s the big PR one, where it’s like, “Well what if, you know, I’ve really been presenting myself in this one way, wearing these colors, holding this vibration and I can’t really post this picture because I’m smiling and I look like this and that.”
We’re multidimensional people, and if you’re not presenting yourself in a multidimensional way, how boring. How utterly boring. And that’s not to shame you if you are, I’m just saying, I’m challenging you to the next time you block your own creative process before it’s even on paper, or out of your mouth, you know the worst editing happens in our own brain. It never sees the light of day. It never makes it out of our mouth, or our hands, or into an actual idea because we’ve already destroyed it in our own brain. We didn’t even give Susan a chance to shit on it. We did it for us, for her.
Anyone, so cemetery, you’re going to die and that’s, it’s sobering but it’s, how freeing. It’s meant to free you from the, from that weird pressure that we’ve been programmed to have inside of us, to care what everyone else thinks. It’s not to say that you shouldn’t create with the care for others. You should absolutely create things that care for others, and are community oriented, and are bettering the world, but that doesn’t mean that you should care what others think in that kind of sense of letting the thoughts of other people block you, and the feelings of other people block you, whether they’re real or not, and especially when they’re not.
So, it’s been a good experience opening the doors so far. I haven’t really had, I’ve had a lot of really amazing feedback from people who have never practiced Kundalini before. I’ve had amazing feedback from people who have practiced Kundalini before, and I’ve had one person be like, “Um, I don’t know if Kundalini is for me”, which is fine. That’s totally fine and allowed and I don’t take personally, and I’m not going to shut my doors because one person feels that way. This is creation for creation’s sake, and I’m enjoying it and that’s all that matters.
And so, everything from getting dressed in the morning, to what you choose to eat for lunch, to what you actually ned up putting out on social media, or podcast, or whatever you’re putting out into the world, are you happy with it or are you having an internal battle with yourself, like no one’s calling you, telling you you shouldn’t post that post. I mean, if they are that’s kind of weird actually. Let me know if that’s the case, but you know, remaining silent isn’t serving any one and the thing that always stuck with me, especially studying human rights and political science, I studied a lot of it in college, and high school too, and silence favors the perpetrator, so we have an obligation to use our voices and to do something, anything, and to participate in life.
Especially in the social media world, there’s two people. There’s creators and consumers and which one are you? You can be a certain degree of both, but where is your percentage falling because if you’re listening to this, I know that you a high caliber soul and individual and I am so grateful to have you in my life, and in circle and orbit, and I’m inspired by you, so can you please post more? Please be more daring, and please push the boundaries more, and please follow that impulse that makes no sense. Those are the best ones. That’s spoken like a true Aries.
The word “impulse” has negative connotations attached to it, like that’s it’s a primal need or call, that it’s not actually something divine, but what’s more divine than your primal need or call? If you have that impulse, and it might be a creative impulse, people call it inspiration, they’re waiting for “Ahhhh”, the angels singing. Impulse is much subtler than the divine angels singing if you ask me. Impulse is actually more of like having this very Spidey sense, like sniffing ability.
Think of the animals that can smell the tracks. That’s an impulse. That’s primal and it’s like you’re capable of sniffing something out before there’s this sign and that sign. And impulses are really weird because they don’t make sense usually. When you get inspiration you’re like, “Oh, I see the picture and I kind of see where we’re going with this.” Impulses are actually way more subtle. It’s like, “I actually feel like doing this right now.” That’s not inspiration, that’s just like, “I feel like doing this right now”, and often when you start following little, tiny breadcrumbs of impulses, you’re following the animal tracks to something really cool.
So I challenge you to just follow an impulse or two today. See what’s going on. See what’s down that little rabbit hole. Maybe there’s nothing, or maybe there’s something that then becomes an inspiration and becomes the thing that just holds you captivated, and let’s those voices in your brain that are telling you that you can’t, or creating some weird block as to why you can’t put something out there, and just makes that disappear.
We have an obligation, being alive. There’s an obligation from every single one of us to just show up. And I’m not talking show up sleepwalking. I mean show up and play. Play the game of life and participate, and push some sort of a boundary. If you’re not uncomfortable, what are you doing? Make yourself a little bit uncomfortable. Take on more than you can handle. Do something that you think is weird.
Just try on different things. I think we think too much and that’s why I’m saying follow an impulse, because an impulse has no logical sense a lot of the times, and we can, often the thing I find people can be most impulsive about is food choice, because it’s like everyone can kind of connect to, “I’m just kind of craving this. I don’t really know why.” But it’s like that. The impulses that I get, it’s almost like this weird little craving for some sort of a specific food, but it’s aways like a very like, oddly specific thing that I can only get in a different country or something, and I can’t actually obtain in this exact moment, but it’s fascinating and it has some sort of information, and some sort of thread to pull on.
Become more subtle about that and see where it might lead, and it might just bypass that system, that danger, that “danger, danger!” system. And the other thing is to just be aware that this is what goes on, so right before I got the website out, which is technically the launch day, not the 3rd. So a lot of people were like, “You did 3/3/19”, and I actually did a different day and a different time if you were paying attention, so the website I just needed to get it, and for some reason it was like that last hurdle for me.
And I know exactly what was going on, so I could actually hear it in my head, where it was like, “this isn’t good enough”, or “this could be better”, but it was all self stuff. Everyone thinks that it’s beautiful, and if they don’t they don’t tell me so who cares? Because again, no one actually cares. Everyone’s just looking at the website through their own perspective of like, “Oh man, this looks weird. She should have done that”, or some sort of like, “Oh, I should make mine look like that or do something with mine”, which again, both having nothing to do with you, or me, and just to do with the person looking at the thing. It has nothing to actually do with me and the things I need to create.
So anyone, I know that this is happening and I luckily Dan was home that day that I was realizing that I was really rubbing up against this and I was like, “Here’s the deal. I need you to just sit with me and keep me on task because the self sabotage mechanism is high. I can just feel it spinning and I just need help getting over the hurdle.” And it was just such a beautiful thing because he was like, “I get that. I can see that. I know that on the other side of this you’re just going to be smooth sailing”, and I’m like, “I know. I just, I need someone to just not let me go down because I go down weird ADHD rabbit holes basically, that’s one of my little self sabotage-y things.
One of the ones I was doing when I was trying to talk to him, is I was trying to create the pricing table, but I was making it in Adobe Illustrator vs, there’s an actual plug in for it and I just needed to find the plug in and put the things in, but instead I was like, going down this much longer process and highly inefficient process, basically because I just wanted to not get this website out because I was scared on one level of how it would be received, and again no one has said boo to me, so either no one likes it, or its just average, or no one’s looking at it. Again, either way, none of this matters. I got it out there. So that’s the whole point.
Anyway, he helped me get over the hump. We got the, we found the plug in, and he was literally just saying, “Am I even helping”, and I was like you have no idea how much you’re helping. So, know if you have some sort of mechanism in you and what the kind of thing that would be that would actually help you, and then communicate it. So if you have someone in your life who can actually help you through that, it is such a blessing. Oh my God, and it’s so funny too because it was mirrored in the external environment. He was like, “So can you put the caps on things, and can you, do you mind just throwing out the towels after you wipe Winnie’s feet. I just feel like you’re having trouble closing the loop.” I’m like, that’s my whole life right now. I’m trying to close loops. Can you please help me?
It’s hilarious how things play out in your life, so if there is some sort of creative blockage that you’re working through, it will be mirrored back to you in all of your normal everyday routines, so just look around your apartment, or your house, or wherever you are right now, your cubicle, your work environment, and just take note of how things are looking and that absolutely mirrors your creative process.
I have actually started putting caps back on things but I haven’t closed all the loops from what I can tell just looking around this kitchen right now. Oh my God. I almost finished all my laundry since the launch day so that will be a very, very exciting moment when I finally have all the clean clothes clean. So anyway, it’s just a, it’s a beautiful process and the other side of this, this is meant to make you feel motivated, the other side of this is give yourself some grace and cut yourself some slack where you need it.
So, I’ll end on this, because naps are important, taking breaks are important, taking showers are important, what else? You’ve gotta take care of yourself and if you are in that kind of process where you’re ideas and the impulse and the inspiration that comes through is literally dead on arrival, because your brain has run all the calculations and decided that Susan’s not gonna like the thing, then take a minute and step back and figure out how to make that stop. My way of making it stop is to go, and that’s what works for me. Someone else, it might be that they need to meditate or to take a bath or something. I don’t know what people do. I just do kundalini, and I walk my dog, and I like walking my dog. That’s a nice one, especially since she’s stopped judging me, thank God.
If you are projecting onto your dog, or your child, or your husband, or whatever, take note of that, too, or a teacher, or a parent, or someone else. They’re not thinking about you. Maybe they are. They might be. Your aunt might actually think you’ve lost it, or that you’re whatever. It doesn’t matter, and if they are thinking about you, good. Someone’s thinking about you. Take it. Take it. It’s energy. When someone’s thinking about you, they’re sending you energy, whether it’s good or bad doesn’t really matter. You can use it and take that opportunity if you do think someone’s thinking negatively about you, use the energy from that, but more likely than not, they’re probably not thinking about you. So stop having fake arguments with them, and go record your podcast or do whatever you were gonna do.
We’re so blessed to be alive, and to have this amazing opportunity in this culture to be creative. We also, of course, have deeper voices and deeper imprints from our past life experiences and there’s definitely a thread of that that may need to be unpacked, but you also have to unpack it if you recognize that that’s one of the things that’s happening. Acknowledging the thing is step one. I think that’s the Alcoholics Anonymous thing, like you have to acknowledge that you have a problem. And then the problem starts to go away because you finally have said, “this is a problem. This isn’t me. This is a problem”, and once you separate yourself from the thing, or you say this is a problem. It’s actually not my aunt, or my mom, or my whatever, my dog, then you’re separating it out.
I don’t do a lot of past life. I don’t work with a lot of healers, mainly because I don’t want to get mixed up because you don’t always necessarily know where someone’s coming from, and what of their own stuff they’re projecting onto your life and what they’re reading. Some people have clearer channels than others, and I have had readings and situations, but I also read my own chart and I’m constantly learning about myself and having past life experiences and realizations.
One of the major ones though is that I have definitely experienced persecution in the past, not maybe this life, actually maybe in small ways, for using my voice and for being a tuned in type of character on the planet. So there’s also a danger mechanism, there’s this lingering “look out. Don’t do that. You got killed for it, remember?”, or “don’t do that. Your whole village suffered because of you, remember?”, whatever it was. Pretty sure I’ve been told a couple times, I have a lot of interesting flashbacks and stuff, but that was actually one of the things I brought up with, with Dan about the website, was that it wasn’t even just the energy of, “what are people going to think about this?”, it was literally like, “Oh God. Some people aren’t going to like this”, and that’s fine. Meaning like, women out there teaching yoga in this type of a way is, it was dangerous at some point, and it might still be, but it’s, I don’t know.
But that’s a fear that’s deeply, deeply rooted so all those fears that kind of, it’s not real though, you know what I mean? Because there’s nothing to actually be scared of, and so again it just comes down to recognizing it. Let me know what you’re working on. If you need some accountability, hit me up and either I can work with you or maybe I can get a group going of us, because I think it’s just really important, I can’t tell you how much having Dan’s support to be like, “Listen, I need accountability here. I need someone keeping me on track so that I’m not going down any kind of weird neurotic loophole, right now.”
So shoot me a message if you’re interested in something like that and I’ll gauge interest and see if maybe we can start up a sort of accountability group and we can talk about the project that we’re working on, and we won’t judge each other and we will only root each other on, to do everything, and to just get something out there and that’s the main thing. Once you move one grain of sand on something, the whole thing starts moving. So, let’s do it and keep me posted and we’ll talk soon. Sat nam.